Remembering Jean Burden

Every September first I think of Jean Burden. This was her birthday – September Morn, she would say, and laugh. She was a poet, an essayist, a teacher, and a cat lover, and would have been one hundred eleven years old today. This photo is from one of her lovely Christmas parties, probably when she was in her seventies. She died at ninety three. I met Jean soon after moving to Altadena, when I mailed off a set of poems to the poetry editor of Yankee magazine. Yankee, published in New Hampshire, was always in our Long Island house when I was growing up, and deep in its back pages was a single page of really good, serious poetry. I had a poem about a blizzard that I thought was a good fit, but it was aiming high to hope to be published where famous poets trod. I sent it off with a few others and a self-addressed, stamped reply envelope – that’s how it was done before email and websites – and waited to hear back. I was surprised and delighted when it arrived with a letter accepting “The Blizzard,” and the amazing news that Yankee’s poetry editor lived in Altadena! She also invited me to be in her poetry workshop. And that’s how I met Jean Burden.

Jean was in her sixties and I wasn’t thirty yet. She was elegant, knowledgeable, confident, and lived in a wonderful small house that might have been part of a farm before the suburb filled in around it. Though I’d had a few poems published in places of no particular distinction, I had never read my poems aloud to anyone. I was nervous and self-conscious but she was gracious and kind, setting out cookies and tea for the group. She could be brutal about the poems themselves, but not to the poets. One of her favorite expressions when someone was devoted to a line, or an image, that didn’t work, was. “Cut it out. You can always use it in another poem.” We had fun applying this to random words and situations, but really it was good advice. She helped us back up and look at our poems more objectively, checking what we said against what we meant. Sometimes a poem surprised you as you wrote it.

My copies of her first book of poems, Naked as the Glass, and her second, Taking Light From Each Other, bloom with bookmarks for my favorite poems. The pet care books she wrote under the pen name Felicia Ames are still available in used editions. Cats were her thing, as they are mine; another bond. My copy of her anthology of cat poems, A Celebration of Cats, is tattered from use. I still have a stuffed toy cat from her collection that was given to me after she died.

Her book Journey Toward Poetry is a good grounding in her approach. She says about her college studies with Thornton Wilder, that she was starved for “not only criticism, invaluable as this can be, but the contagion of enthusiasm for the art itself that can only be communicated by someone actively engaged in and committed to it.” Every year I got to meet, and sometimes have a seminar or dinner with, each wonderful poet invited to read at the Jean Burden Annual Poetry Series at Cal State LA. I felt the contagion of enthusiasm she wrote about, having Howard Nemerov advise me to take a line out of a poem, or even driving Maxine Kumin to the train station. Jean was long gone when her lovely little house was lost in the January fires, the porch where the cats sat, the small garden where they hunted, the rooms where poetry and laughter bounced off the walls. Whatever remained of it has been cleaned away, carted off to a landfill. It’s ready, now, for the next thing to happen there. 

Frassy Upside Down

I’ve never had a cat who liked to lie on her back as much as Frassy does. It’s not just in hot weather – she does this no matter the temperature in the house. 

Ballet?

Calisthenics? 

When she also turns her head upside down, it reminds me of how much I enjoyed that as a child – lying on my back looking at the ceiling, pretending it was the floor, picturing myself walking around on it, stepping up over the doorways. 

But what’s in Frassy’s mind when she looks at the world this way?

I put words in her mouth all the time, but my thoughts are unlikely to be hers. It’s hard enough to know what another human being is thinking – and yet we imagine we know the thoughts of our pets.

We especially imagine we know what our relationship to them is, what we mean to them, when all we can know is what they mean to us.

Frassy came up on my lap as I was writing this, and helped out. Or so I like to say. 

People and Pets

I was scratching Frassy behind her ears today, when it occurred to me to wonder how it is that people have pets. Dogs may have been adopted as hunting helpers and cats for rodent control, following our habit of bribing wild creatures to live alongside us by feeding them in exchange for milk, wool, eggs, or service. But today people who don’t hunt and have never seen a mouse still have dogs and cats in their homes. And what about gerbils, hamsters, parakeets – all manner of animate beings with no useful task to perform for us. 

How did this happen? I see domestication as something carried out by little girls, about seven to ten years old. Girls this age fall in love with baby animals, no matter how wild, and want to bring them home. Suppose the hunt has been successful, and while the grown-ups are busy drying meat and stretching hides, a little calf stands bleating at the edge of the firelight. Oh look, says Small Daughter, he’s so cute, can I keep him, please? Negotiations ensue, promises of care-taking are extracted, and the calf comes along home. The cultural attitude Small Daughter has to deal with today – maybe with an injured bird or abandoned baby squirrel – is different from what it was in a hunting camp 12,000 years ago, but it’s likely the emotional pull she feels from a small, vulnerable creature is the same, as much as our two legs, two arms, and large brains are the same. We’re built that way.

The remains of dogs and cats have been found in human graves from 12,000 years ago, valued and honored perhaps for their usefulness, perhaps for their companionship. We’re made for inter-relationships – we’ll even reach across species for them – we have pets because we have a need for interdependence. Frassy is very rewarding when I scratch behind her ears, leaning into it with the appearance of gratitude, and purring. Humans are more complex, harder to figure out, and most of us are not trying very hard right now. Emotional investment in our pets is lovely, but maybe we could look harder for things to value and honor in each other. 

Things That Stay, Things That Change

Faithful to the season, the hellebores lifted themselves out of the dirt in time to wave hello to lent. I should have been paying closer attention, because I missed getting my paczki this year – a special Polish pastry available only at Mardi Gras. Not, of course, called Mardi Gras in Polish, but I have enough trouble spelling paczki (it’s pronounced “punchkey”) to venture another Polish word. Every year the hellebore tribe increases in my yard; they seem especially ruffly this year.

The tribe of the deer increased this year, too. Over the winter we had a group of eight, then a group of twelve, but now they’ve merged into a group of twenty, more than I’ve ever seen at once on my lawn. It’s odd, because normally the herds break into smaller units come spring. Maybe the deer equivalent of paczki is coming up in through the grass.

Another spring surprise for me was this orchid, a gift from a friend last year, reblooming. I’ve been given orchids before, enjoyed them while they bloomed, and then watched them wither and die. My previous experience with orchids was as corsages, or seeing them in California where they grew outdoors. So I assumed a windowsill was not great orchid habitat, yet here she is, all aglow. 

Behind her, in brighter light, is another outdoor California plant, a bougainvillea, which has come back from a near-death experience. It had dwindled to a total of four leaves before I realized the gnats in the room were a sign of fungus in its soil. I had a three-pronged attack for this, so I’m not sure which part worked. First I mixed hydrogen peroxide into a pitcher of water and soaked the soil with it, as a fungus killer. Then I poked holes in the soil nearest the sad bare branches and shook in some rooting powder, to try to regenerate healthy roots. Then I painted the four stalwart leaves with Miracle-gro, a foliar feeder, to help it out until its roots recovered. It worked! Yay!

Meanwhile, it’s been fun getting to know our new cat. Frassy has found all Zerlina’s old favorite spots, and invented a few of her own. Zerlina was afraid of sticks, or anything sticklike, from which we guessed she had once been abused with them. Frassy seems to be trauma-free. She’s especially fond of Doug. Here he is playing with her with a feather toy on a stick. She’s already bitten through the string once – see the knot where I tied it back together? She’s also ferocious with her two toy mice. If we do really have a mouse in the house, I hope we won’t for long.

Spring Surprise

I was all set to write a blog post for today about snowdrops, daffodils, tornado warnings, and other signs of spring. Then I got a call from the Humane Society that the cat Doug and I saw there last week was ready for adoption. They had picked her up as a stray, but now the requisite time had passed for anyone else to claim her. She was ours.

It’s been eight months since our wonderful Zerlina died, and at first I was too full of memories of her to accommodate another cat. But eventually I shifted from thinking I saw her everywhere from the corner of my eye, to realizing all those spaces were empty and needed a cat to fill them. Then we found signs of a mouse in the kitchen, and that sealed the deal.

So we brought her home. First thing in the door I showed her the litter box – cats like to know where it is – and then watched for what she’d do next. I had a few possible opera names picked out for her, depending on what I could learn of her personality. Some cats will hide; some will wail; some will try to run out the door. Our tabby girl was bold, adventurous, and affectionate. She especially liked to have Doug rub her head, and she did a walk-through of every room in the house. I named her Frasquita, after the gypsy girl who was Carmen’s fun-loving but more reasonable friend. Doug calls her Frassy.

So this is the story of a new beginning, after all – a new season, a new cat. She’s sleeping in Doug’s lap right now. They make a nice double portrait of what a good idea it is to love again.

Memorial Again

b late colorThe late warm season continues. Most of the flowers are gone, but there’s still a lot of autumn color. The spirea planted in front is mostly down to bare branches, but this one in a pot on the deck is still in glory. This is odd, first because the front yard gets more sunshine, facing south, and the deck faces north; but also because roots in the ground get more protection from weather than roots in pots do. Nature surprises us whenever she wishes. The potted spirea is a volunteer – a pot of nigella was colonized by free-range spirea seed, and quickly became too lovely to remove. Here it is garnished by a couple of immigrant maple leaves, likely carried by whatever forces brought the spirea seed.

b mapleHere’s the donor tree for those maple leaves, with just a little left in its branches to continue decorating the yard.

b mintMy herb collection has a mixed response to autumn. I had to bring the basil indoors, but thyme and sage will persevere outside all the way to Thanksgiving. The pot of mint may not last quite so long, but meanwhile has collected its own leaf embellishment.

b memorialMeanwhile, after much inspection via the internet, I ordered a memorial stone for my wonderful cat, Zerlina. Many of those offered had elaborate decorations and extensive text, but none came up to Zerlina’s level of elegance. I chose one in her colors, with a soft shape. Not that a stone will be puffy, but hard angled edges seemed wrong. Doug came out to the garden with me while I buried her ashes in the center of the garden next to the thyme, and placed the stone on top. I needed the hugs. Then I sat for a while on my glider bench, thinking about her. The thyme will spread, and maybe I’ll encourage it to surround the whole stone. I haven’t decided yet, but thyme sounds like it belongs with memorials.

b pumpkin hearthThen I went back into the house, where I picked up all the pumpkins and put them back in different places. I had to remember that things can change. And I found a sort of puffy one for the hearth.

Memorial

Zerlina tile – Version 2When I walked out to the garden today I didn’t look at the tomatoes, the zinnias, or the cosmos I knew were blooming. Today I looked at the garden thinking where to put a memorial for my loved and loving cat, Zerlina, who has died. She was twenty years old and I had her for eighteen of those years. That’s as long as either of my children lived home with me.

b Z puffsZerlina moved with me from Pasadena to Michigan; I watched her encounter snow for the first time. She caught mice before I even knew they were in the house. She waited for me at the foot of the stairs every morning, meowing for her “Pet Fest,” our mutual grooming session: I brushed her and she licked me. She had such a soft coat, I used to tell her she was secretly a chinchilla. I keep a small bit of that luxurious fur, in a tiny bottle, in my jewelry box.

b duck hunterShe was very much my companion. When she wasn’t looking out the window at passing ducks,

b z scrapsshe helped with my sewing projects,

b z flowersor inspected whatever I brought in from the garden.

b2 glider benchI have a glider bench in the garden where I like to sit with my tea at the end of the day, and think about things.

b1 gazing ballNearby is a gazing ball with thyme and flowers around it, and I think I will put Zerlina’s ashes under it with a marker of some kind.

It should be a good place for her memorial:
Zerlina, August 2004 – August 2024.