This week I’ve been watching the Olympics, where athletes ski dangerously fast down dangerously steep slopes, slide across rock-hard ice on narrow steel blades while carrying other athletes or leaping into the air, wheel up and down curved walls on small boards, and do other activities where they are subject to, and frequently suffer from, very hard falls with dire results. After which a reporter holds a microphone to their exhausted lips, and they say it was fun and they loved it.
As a person whose idea of a great time in February is sitting in a chair by a window, listening to music, drinking tea, writing, and taking the occasional photo, I have a hard time wrapping my head around this. Not only how do they love doing their sport now – how did they love it enough to do it enough to get this good at it? Then I hear their stories, how they knew it was who they were from an early age, and I understand that. I’ve felt I was a writer since I was eight years old. Something catches you by the heart, and there you are. Maybe you were born to do it, maybe it came sailing to you from the outside world, or maybe it’s some of each, but it nestles into your nature one way or another and you can’t not do it.
The closest we have to an athlete in our house is definitely Frassy, born fully equipped for hunting birds and mice. Mice show up from time to time, but she’s adapted to the lack of birds indoors by playing with feathers we dangle from a string. In the absence of even that, she makes moves anyway. I can’t say if she loves what she does, but she definitely can’t not do it.
A very wise friend used to say “Love is not what you say. Love is what you do.” He was speaking of love in human relationships, but I’ve come to feel it applies much more broadly. It’s the way champion athletes love their sport. In fact a democratic civilization is built on saying anything you want, as long as you’re respectful in what you do. Love your neighbor, your city, your country, your world – it’s all in what you do. I hope you all got sweet, kind Valentine’s Day cards yesterday and gave and got kind deeds to go along with them.
Instead of counting medals as I watch the rest of the Olympics, I’ll be looking for more stories of how people fall in love with the crazy endeavors we call sports, and thinking about how anyone falls in love with anything – a sport, a person, anything. Some take losing harder than others, but it seems for many Olympians it’s better to have played and lost than never to have played at all. I wish success to all of them, but since that’s impossible I wish them all joy in the skid, the slide, the leap, the turn. The doing.































The late warm season continues. Most of the flowers are gone, but there’s still a lot of autumn color. The spirea planted in front is mostly down to bare branches, but this one in a pot on the deck is still in glory. This is odd, first because the front yard gets more sunshine, facing south, and the deck faces north; but also because roots in the ground get more protection from weather than roots in pots do. Nature surprises us whenever she wishes. The potted spirea is a volunteer – a pot of nigella was colonized by free-range spirea seed, and quickly became too lovely to remove. Here it is garnished by a couple of immigrant maple leaves, likely carried by whatever forces brought the spirea seed.
Here’s the donor tree for those maple leaves, with just a little left in its branches to continue decorating the yard.
My herb collection has a mixed response to autumn. I had to bring the basil indoors, but thyme and sage will persevere outside all the way to Thanksgiving. The pot of mint may not last quite so long, but meanwhile has collected its own leaf embellishment.
Meanwhile, after much inspection via the internet, I ordered a memorial stone for my wonderful cat, Zerlina. Many of those offered had elaborate decorations and extensive text, but none came up to Zerlina’s level of elegance. I chose one in her colors, with a soft shape. Not that a stone will be puffy, but hard angled edges seemed wrong. Doug came out to the garden with me while I buried her ashes in the center of the garden next to the thyme, and placed the stone on top. I needed the hugs. Then I sat for a while on my glider bench, thinking about her. The thyme will spread, and maybe I’ll encourage it to surround the whole stone. I haven’t decided yet, but thyme sounds like it belongs with memorials.
Then I went back into the house, where I picked up all the pumpkins and put them back in different places. I had to remember that things can change. And I found a sort of puffy one for the hearth.
When I walked out to the garden today I didn’t look at the tomatoes, the zinnias, or the cosmos I knew were blooming. Today I looked at the garden thinking where to put a memorial for my loved and loving cat, Zerlina, who has died. She was twenty years old and I had her for eighteen of those years. That’s as long as either of my children lived home with me.
Zerlina moved with me from Pasadena to Michigan; I watched her encounter snow for the first time. She caught mice before I even knew they were in the house. She waited for me at the foot of the stairs every morning, meowing for her “Pet Fest,” our mutual grooming session: I brushed her and she licked me. She had such a soft coat, I used to tell her she was secretly a chinchilla. I keep a small bit of that luxurious fur, in a tiny bottle, in my jewelry box.
She was very much my companion. When she wasn’t looking out the window at passing ducks,
she helped with my sewing projects,
or inspected whatever I brought in from the garden.
I have a glider bench in the garden where I like to sit with my tea at the end of the day, and think about things.
Nearby is a gazing ball with thyme and flowers around it, and I think I will put Zerlina’s ashes under it with a marker of some kind.